Sometimes being a mother sucks.

Today I was a good mother but in a way that made me feel like the worst mother in the world. Miss Four (five next week) has toileting issues (daytime pants wetting), that we’ve been trying to deal with in various ways for over two years. We’ve tried rewards, punishments, incentives, ignoring, getting extra cross, just about anything anyone suggested, we tried. I finally took her to the doctor a few weeks ago, to ensure that there’s nothing wrong physically (there’s not). We can go for weeks without a problem, then multiple issues daily. It’s frustrating and maddening and I’m at the end of my rope with it. Last week, I "cancelled" her birthday party. Since then we’ve had five days of no problems. We had a birthday party to go to today, which she was REALLY looking forward to (her best friend). We’ve talked a lot about how she has to keep doing the right thing or there’d be consequences. I constantly ask her if she needs to go to the toilet, and ask her to really THINK about her answer before saying no. She got all dressed up in her beautiful fairy princess outfit. We did her hair. We were pretty much ready to go. And then I noticed she had changed her underwear. And tried to hide that she’d done that. And so, as the known consequence, she was no longer allowed to go to the party. 

I felt awful about it, because she’s still only four, and she loves parties and her friend was only having a couple of guests, so I knew this would make HER feel bad too, but I felt like if I didn’t follow through on this, I was only making things worse. And I’ve felt like shit about it all day. Sometimes being a mother sucks.

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16 Comments

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16 responses to “Sometimes being a mother sucks.

  1. Anonymous

    😦 Wondered why you were still at my place when I got back, guess I know now.

  2. Anonymous

    😦 It is sucky sometimes.

    • Anonymous

      But luckily there are good times 🙂 Not so much today though, cos I just had to torture bub with salty eye wash 😦

      • Anonymous

        Still? They were looking good the other night. 😦
        And yeah, there are some very good times that make it worthwhile 🙂 xx

  3. Anonymous

    😦
    It totally doesn’t help but you’re doing the right thing.
    😦
    I’ve had vin cry on me for similar reasons about parties and discipline before too

  4. Anonymous

    It is hard to do the right thing, especially when it feels so wrong. Erin keeps licking her lips. Her lips are dry and peeling and very very red and bruised looking. We’ve done everything as mentioned in your post. I’ve bought her lip balm and made her drink and smothered her in moisturiser to keep her lips hydrated and still she licks them. In the end I had to threaten her with taking drawing away from her. Still, she persisted. She’s now four days drawing-free and her lips are finally healing.
    It is hard but you know you have to take extreme measures sometimes.
    And you ARE an awesome Mummy.

  5. Anonymous

    That would feel horrible 😦 *sending love*

  6. Anonymous

    oh *hugs*
    Had a similar problem with B. I had to work really hard on not being angry with her. I can’t even remember the final solution, only that it sort of resolved itself.
    You did the right thing for her and yourself. No point making threats if you don’t follow through on them.

  7. Anonymous

    Sorry you felt shit about it all day. It’s never nice being the enforcer.

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